Thursday, May 22, 2008

A lesson in self-reliance


When faced with the likelihood of being eaten by an Anaconda, employ the following strategy:

1. Duck your head.

2. Curl your torso as tightly as possible.

3. Leave your legs straight to encourage the Anaconda to being devouring you feet first.

4. Relax comfortably while being eaten.

5. When you have been devoured up to your knees, unsheathe your sharp knife.

6. Slice open the Anaconda along the sides of its mouth as far as possible.

7. Extract yourself from the Anaconda.

  1. Eat the Anaconda to let it know who’s boss.

4 comments:

Jen W said...

Good to know. It isn't often that I am faced with that particular situation. But the next time it happens I will be sure to follow those simple instructions. :)

Stefley said...

Wow, that's all I can come up with.

Mom and Dad said...

Lewis, is this serious or are you teasing us? I'm not the "sharpest knife in the drawer" when it comes to things like that.

Lewis said...

This is true. It actually is the only way to survive an Anaconda "attack." It gives a new feeling to the simple question: What's for dinner?